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An Ally's Note on Coming out; The Enlightenment


It takes insight and intelligence to know our ‘self’. Not everyone dares to discover it and embrace their real whole self. Because it takes immense strength too.

 As a straight ally, I have tried to know the puzzle and pain one has to go through in the process of finding one’s ‘self’. It is quite a baffling state of existence where you don’t identify with the terms society has attributed to you. Because for the majority of the society, sexuality is something to be attributed to a person based on the biological or physical appearance they can interpret. For them, everything is either black or white, no greys in between.

Coming out for LGBTQ people would have been an easier process if their society would start to understand that sexuality never exists in binary. It’s a spectrum of different shades.

I have friends who ended up in forced marriages against their will and got divorced after suffering and enduring mental trauma. Family and society are so ignorant when the blame them for ‘spoiling’ their lives for mere physical and sexual preferences. How stupid is that? Forcing a gay person to get married to someone of the opposite sex and confining them from embracing their identity is cruel. It is not only the sexual satisfaction of that person that matters, it is their mind, the emotions, the human being inside that physical structure that matters. If it still sounds like nonsense to them, they should think vise versa.

Coming out is a really big step in one’s life. For some people, it can happen early and for others, it can happen at any point in their life. Because, it is a beautiful surprise life has kept for you. The sooner you find it, the more you love your life. It has no age, color or boundaries. Family is the first circle which has to accept and support one’s identity. Coming out to the family is the most challenging for the majority of LGBTQ people. Whether it is to a teenager or to a grown up. 

And then comes the society at large. In between there are barriers like religion and other relationships, such as employers and religious leaders. But, time’s are changing and there are more people, media and platforms which strive to make it easier for LGBTQ brothers and sisters to come out to the world with strength and confidence.

When someone dares to discover who they are and becomes ready to tell that to the world, full acceptance is the best appreciation we can offer them.

Because, knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is ‘Enlightenment’. Let everyone enjoy the freedom and ecstasy of life.

Are you an ally wanting a safe place to ask questions and learn how to support your loved ones in the best way possible.  Check out the Pride and Joy Foundation online support group.  Use code "FREEMONTH" to try it for free for 30 days.   

Author:  Gopika Kalarikkal - A Professional Writing student at Humber College and a writing intern at Pride and Joy Foundation. I am an aspiring writer with a keen interest in poetry and spirituality and a homesick Indian girl in Canada who loves to get lost in scribbling down my stream of consciousness.


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