Love and Let Love, Dating in the LGBTQ World

As a straight person, I have always been curious to know about homosexual relationships, how they meet, how they hook up, how they know whether the other person is straight or not, and a lot of ‘HOWs’ to be honest. It doesn’t mean peeping into others’ private life, but just curious to know how someone could get attracted to a person of same-sex and have a crush on him/her without being sure of their sexuality. How can they approach the other person being unsure where to stand, in the border of friendship and romance? 

While all these questions excited me, I started thinking of it in a more focused way. I realized that these are not only the concerns of LGBTQ people but everyone out there including myself. How can I crush on a man without knowing his sexuality?

Love is in its most beautiful and purest form when an individual finds their soulmate in another individual regardless of their gender. 

So, let’s accept the fact that LGBTQ relationships are as normal and beautiful as any other relationship on this planet except some societal interference which give them a strange frown. Cami Petyn came out as a confused and nervous lesbian at the age of 23 and she was super excited for her first date with a girl. Cami and Vicky met on an online dating website SEEN and decided to go on a real date.

Blowing away all the nervousness to date a girl for the first time, Cami hugged Vicky and said, “You’re tall too”. That was a really comfortable beginning of their relationship story. Spending a day together, talking a lot about each other, they blended together in a very smooth and beautiful way. Getting back home with a gorgeous bouquet gifted by Vicky, Cami was happy yet a bit confused. She could see a very good friend in Vicky but she couldn’t sort out her feelings for her.  

First dates can give you new feelings, experiences and take away your preconceptions but sometimes they can also be puzzling like this one. That is probably where you recognize yourself and realize who you’re looking for to share your life with.

Some first dates turn out to be disappointing just because of the homophobic people around you. People who are ignorant about others’ rights and space often become pests on a fresh bloom. Just like Chris and Sam who recall their disastrous first date in a restaurant where they were forced to get out of there because of the uncomfortable stares and comments from nearby tables. This is not a unique experience. Many will be there with similar or worse experiences.

A friend of mine, who is a bisexual had a very heart-breaking dating experience and he badly wanted to share it with me to get over it. He met a girl through Facebook and after a brief period of a virtual relationship, they decided to meet. But when he opened up about his sexuality, she was not up for accepting it and her reaction was upsetting. She said the thought of him being with a man feels like the worst nightmare to her. That was the end of their relationship.

Every first date is a tale that is are hard to forget either with the happiness it imprints in one’s life or with deep disappointments. Even though I don’t like to frame LGBTQ dates as something way different from straight dates, the fact is that it still stands out with more issues than the latter.

 People who still haven’t opened their hearts and raised their thoughts to the realm of acceptance and inclusion make it hard for LGBTQ people to find a like-minded better half like anyone else. 

I am sure that a lot of straight people still wonder about homosexual relationships and ponder on a lot of questions like I used to do. This is all because even people who accept homosexual relationships tend to place it in a shade of ‘abnormality’. Beyond religious frameworks and self-induced phobias let’s learn to live and let live or in other words, to love and let love.

Author:  Gopika Kalarikkal - A Professional Writing student at Humber College and a writing intern at Pride and Joy Foundation. I am an aspiring writer with a keen interest in poetry and spirituality and a homesick Indian girl in Canada who loves to get lost in scribbling down my stream of consciousness.

Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash