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Gaslighting: Is it you?

Hey guys,

The LGBTQ community is having a collective realization and it involves you.

My daughter and I were driving in the car when the Dixie Chick's song Gaslighter came on. She asked what it meant and I explained that gaslighting is what happens when someone hurts you, but when you call them on it, they refuse to apologize.

Instead, they say things like "You're being really sensitive!" or "You took it that way, that's not my fault. I wasn't intending to be hurtful." Or the BEST is "I never said that. I think you're imagining that."

Overall, gaslighting creates a sense of confusion, of not being able to trust your gut or the validity of what people say and mean. If you notice your LGBTQ co-workers, family, and friends, looking at you a little strangely, there's a reason.

We're having a collective moment of realizing that while 80% of our nation says they support us, 50+% voted the opposite of that. Their words and their actions are not adding up.

So we're questioning everyone...

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How Suicide Prevention Looks in Real Life

Suicide helplines are awesome.  They’re also the last line of defense we have at preventing suicide for ourselves and our loved ones.  There is SO much we can do before we reach the point that we need to ask for help from strangers at the end of a telephone line or in a hospital.

As someone who was in that pit and who has made it her mission to reduce the rate of suicide in the LGBTQ community, this is a daily part of my life.  I know it sounds heavy-handed to say that a suburban mom practices suicide prevention every day but there it is.  I participated in a “therapy” that has a 57% suicide rate.  Many therapists have let me know that “I’m only a survivor until I’m a statistic” and for the rest of my life, I need to keep my mental health a priority.

Add to that the fact that I am a part of, and professionally work with, the LGBTQ population, a marginalized population that has one of the HIGHEST suicide rates,...

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Reclaiming My Body and My Life: Healing From Purity Culture

If we took the definition of “virgin” to mean “not married, not belonging to a man—a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’”.  How would you or I utilize this meaning of virgin to construct our perception of ourselves?

In order to understand the contextual environment and effects surrounding the phrase “purity culture”, one should delve into the etymology of the words virgin, purity, and culture.  Culture is often generically defined as “the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization”.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines purity as “the freedom from adulteration or contamination”.  Pure, virgin, and chaste have, at times, been used interchangeably.  Virgin has frequently been used to describe young females that are sexually pure or untouched by a man.  But what if that wasn’t the only definition of virgin or...

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Body Imag{ination}: Demystifying the disconnect between women and their bodies

 

The following is the transcript of our "Conversations That Create Change" episode with Ramona Galey.  We discussed body image issues that are common to women and especially lesbians and queer women.  

Ramona is a body image coach who works with women within the Law of Attraction framework.  She figured out how to align and lose 60 pounds at the age of 59, healed a back injury at 60, and is now releasing her Hashimoto's condition.  As you will see in the video, Ramona is a remarkable person!

You can find our other Conversations That Create Change here.  

 

- Now we're recording. So, we will have questions at the end and please feel free. Like, you guys are giving up time to be here tonight, so you don't have to rely on the replay. Everyone else will. So, any question you have, like, please put it out there. If anything we say doesn't quite make sense, or if it just inspires a question within you, this is the time. Let's talk about it. So I met...

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From Mormon Mom to Lesbian Mom: The Haunting

I am battling my own ghost.  How do you fight yourself?  You know all your best moves.  You know how she’ll react to any given situation.  And when you emerge the victor, have you actually won?  Because you just trashed yourself.

My ghost is beating me right now.  My 18-year-old son and I went on a walk last night.  He leaves for college in two days and I wanted his opinion on how to handle a situation with his 12-year-old sister.  We’re not communicating well and I can’t figure out how to fix it.  With four kids in total, I needed help.

“It sounds familiar, Mom,” he said.  “I think she’s at the point where I was just a few years ago.  I didn’t know how to communicate with you in a straightforward way.  I felt like I had to strategize and plan so that I wouldn’t get in trouble.  I think she hasn’t learned she doesn’t have to do that anymore.”

4...

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Are You Ready to UnHook?

 

Our mission here at the Pride and Joy Foundation is to increase self-awareness in LGBTQ families and the allies that love them. A key component of self-awareness is learning how to let go of other people's opinions and trust your intuition. So we bring you UnHook, a course to learn how to let go of judgment and learn to trust yourself.

 

Did you know that I'm a fly fisher? You can listen to how that happened in my TEDx Talk some other time. Fly fishing has taught me a lot about life and how to navigate it, when to stay on the shore, and when to wade in deep, how to focus and let everything else go, and most importantly, how to get off the hook.

 

Fish are caught when they mistake my fly for their food. We, as humans, are caught when we mistake opinions for important facts. That's how you and I get hooked. Now, a smart fish can shake their head just the right way, and pop, off they go, unhooked and free.

 

Smart humans, like you and I, can do the same thing. We can use...

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LGBTQ ISSUES IN CANADIAN SCHOOLS

Schools are the second important space for children (the first being home) which affects their overall growth and it plays a vital role in directing their mental development. It is important to look into how these schools work in nurturing and mentoring a healthy and socially responsible group of youth.

As Canada is a country that has a law and society that accepts the LGBTQ community, Canadian schools are also required to be inclusive in nature with regard to gender diversity and sexuality. With the law enforced and several efforts taken to make sure everything is perfectly executed, do all of the schools in Canada follow the provincial law and the right curriculum when it comes to LGBTQ? 

Unfortunately, the answer is NO.

There are a lot of issues in schools that need to be addressed. The root cause of most of the problems is lack of awareness. Some of the visible problems are discrimination against LGBTQ kids from other students as well as teachers, bullying, discrimination...

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GUEST WRITER - It Was Time For Him To Go

It Was Time For Him to Go

I’m coming off a high. I just fired someone, and it was one of the crowning achievements of my adult life.  I made sure to make a scene of it too by gathering everyone into the conference room, laying out a long list of offenses, and walking him out of the room and building to never return. It was awesome!

Nine months earlier I came out to my wife of 13 years...  I married her with the best of intentions, desiring to do all that was expected of me as a man in the Mormon Church.  From the time I was a child I wanted nothing more than to please my God by doing the things I was taught to do; including choosing the right, following the prophet, abstaining from coffee, tea, and alcohol, serving a mission, and marrying in the temple.  From there it was a simple matter of re-populating the earth and enduring until the end.  If I kept my end of the promises made at baptism and in the temple I would be rewarded with eternal life which...

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Intentionally Parenting LGBTQ Children

                                         CHOOSING TO BE GOOD PARENTS

 

As someone has said, parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to actually do.

In India, parenting is something everybody around you involved in; the grandparents, uncles, aunts, neighbours and the list goes on. This is because there is an unofficial fundamental right to peep into how others are raising their children and make comments and suggestions and also teach them religious and ‘traditional values’ if they get a chance. 

Yes, it is stupid, but unfortunately true. Joint families still exist in India, hesitating to break into nuclear ones. This makes it more common to have a lot of people getting involved in the process of raising a child. Even if the family is a nuclear one, the grandparents never step back from their...

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Guest Writer - THIS IS ME

 

As a lot of you know, I am a pretty open-minded individual. I would go as far as saying that I am probably one of the more socially progressive people in most of the local groups I volunteer with, my small circle of local friends, my lifelong friends from childhood, and even my immediate family. I mean, one of my favorite shows on TV right now is "We're Here". It's a series on HBO about three drag queens traveling around to small, conservative communities with hopes of opening the minds and hearts of the folks who live there, to be more accepting of people within their communities, who feel like they don't belong. It has ALL the feels and the best cast! I'm also an empath, I'm learning how to be a better ally, and I always pull for the people who feel like they don't really fit in. Mainly, because I know that feeling all too well.

 

I have very short hair, I have broad shoulders, not much to speak up for hips, I wear a t-shirt or hoodie every day and I rarely go without...

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