What Do You Mean You Don’t Believe in Gender?
If you’ve visited my website you may have noticed that I am a transgender man who doesn’t believe in gender. How can I say that I am a transgender man and at the same time have the opinion that gender isn’t a real thing? Hmmm, that’s an excellent question and perhaps by the end of this post, I will have clarification not only for you but for myself.
You see the thing is, I have this knowing and it is strong and undeniable. I am a man. But what does that even mean? I think for me it means that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I should have been born with a penis. I wasn’t though, which is why I am transgender. Because I was born without a penis, the doctors took a look at me and said “it’s a girl”. Imagine making such a ridiculous mistake. Of course, it wasn’t ridiculous on the part of the doctor because our society says no penis=girl and penis=boy.
We all have a basic...
CHOOSING TO BE GOOD PARENTS
As someone has said, parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to actually do.
In India, parenting is something everybody around you involved in; the grandparents, uncles, aunts, neighbours and the list goes on. This is because there is an unofficial fundamental right to peep into how others are raising their children and make comments and suggestions and also teach them religious and ‘traditional values’ if they get a chance.
Yes, it is stupid, but unfortunately true. Joint families still exist in India, hesitating to break into nuclear ones. This makes it more common to have a lot of people getting involved in the process of raising a child. Even if the family is a nuclear one, the grandparents never step back from their...
When I was 38 I had to come out to my Dad. He was 72. I had been married to a man for 18 years, I had four of his six grandchildren. I can't imagine the bombshell that was for him.
My Dad was born in New England and he spent his entire childhood there, son of an accountant and the local Masonic lodge leader. After high school, he joined the Coast Guard. After that he was an ironworker, building almost every bridge on the seacoast.
There's an infamous story, happened way before I was born. He and his crew were working in the 70s on a skyscraper in Hartford, CT. On their lunch break, they unwittingly wandered into a gay bar. You can imagine how that went down. The cops were eventually called to break up the fight and Dad was thrown in jail. My mom left him there for the night. (I LOVE THIS STORY, my dad was in JAIL, you guys.)
In an effort to save their marriage which was on the rocks from the...